Welcome to What I've Learned So Far...
Welcome to the online home of Erma Bombeck award-winning humorist Mike Ball. Mike's column is a syndicated weekly feature that pops up in newspspers all over the United States. If your local paper doesn't carry What I've Learned So Far... call or email the editors, give them a link to this site, and tell them to get with it!
We also have readers from around the world who subscribe online. Please join them - it's free! And if you register you can join in the conversation by commenting on the columns right here on the site.
And if you want to meet Mike, check out the Schedule Of Appearances for a reading, signing, or singing near you.
In another life, Mike is the founder of Lost Voices, a nonprofit group founded to bring creative writing and roots music programs to incarcerated and at-risk kids. He was recently named USA Today Kindness Community Hero for this work.
News: Award Winning Humorist Mike Ball Will Read, Sign and Sing at Brighton, MI Borders
Syndicated columnist and Erma Bombeck Award-winning humorist Mike Ball will be bringing his guitar and a box of Sharpies with him when he visits the Borders store in Brighton, Michigan on Saturday, March 27. Ball will be on hand from 3:00 to 5:00 PM to read from and sign his new book, What I've Learned So Far... Part I: Bikes, Docks & Slush Nuggets.
Ball's nationally-syndicated column, What I've Learned So Far... has attracted fans and positive reviews from all over the world. The new book is a treasury of the sharply funny and sometimes poignant work that has made him a favorite of so many readers.
Waxing and Whining
My heart, my soul, surely would be thine
If thou wouldst but wax thy bikini line.
- W. Shakespeare*
I think we can all agree that life is just not fair. We men get to walk around the beach looking like gorillas in board shorts, while women have to live in fear of showing even the tiniest hint of stubble on their legs, armpits, or the dreaded bikini line.
Now, let me just say that there are some things us guys generally prefer not to know about women, and one of the main ones would be how they deal with unwanted body hair. It’s not that we don’t sympathize or appreciate all the effort. We would just rather not hear the details. So why, you might ask, am I tackling this subject in print?
Because, ladies, I have felt your pain.
Olympics Update - Ice Dancing Medals and Plenty Of Spandex
Tonight I caught the finals in Olympic Ice Dancing. This sport has been evolving greatly over the past twenty years, to the point where these days there are a lot more creative costumes and routines and a lot fewer guys in greasy ponytails. I always make sure to watch for the quality of the side-by-side twizzles. The announcer told me to.
Two of the Ice Dance pairs are University of Michigan students. Meryl Davis and Charlie White went into the free dance with a good chance of winning a gold medal. Charlie recently said that about the only thing that could top a Michigan football game would be winning a medal at the Olympics.
The other couple, Emily Samuelson and Evan Bates (Evan is also a native Ann Arborite) never had a realistic shot at a top three finish, but they looked great and turned in a personal best. It kind of makes you wonder if the U of M should consider a establishing Department of Feathers and Sequins.
Winter Olympics, NASCAR, and Red Wings: the Perfect Valentine's Day
This weekend my wife and I are enjoying a Perfect Storm of Really Cool Stuff.
On Friday the 2010 Winter Olympics* kicked off in Vancouver, British Columbia. There was a terrific Opening Ceremony highlighted by some teams marching in with hundreds of happy skiers and skaters waving at the crowd, while other teams were made up of a single athlete carrying a flag and followed by fifteen old bald government guys.
Fight The Chill - Fire Up The Grill
For Michiganites, January means different things to different people. For some, it means tuning up the skis and heading to a resort for a few days of carefree fun, frolic, and compound fractures. For others, it's off to Florida to bask under a cloudy sky on a 45 degree day, then send smug postcards to the people they work with back home.
But for most of us, it means walking up an icy driveway from the mailbox with our Stupid Winter Hats perched on our heads and skidding past the back door on one heel, clutching a handful of smug postcards from our coworkers in one hand and doing the "windmill prayer" (Oh God, Oh God, Oh God...) with the other.
