family

Harold

I consider myself a really lucky guy. In my career I've had the opportunity to write all kinds of things, most of them silly, and writing them has usually been fun. But every now and then I have had to put the silliness aside and say goodbye to a friend.

Just a little over seventeen years ago our family threw all our stuff in boxes, threw the boxes in a truck, and headed up the road from Ann Arbor to move into a house on the shores of Whitmore Lake. The house came with nice carpeting, a great view of the water, and a neighbor named Harold Lemon.

Harold was about 75 years old when I first met him. He was hobbling around his back yard with a cane, and in our first conversation he told me that he was just about to go in to have a hip replaced. My impression was, "Wow, what a nice old guy. He's just a little bit older than my dad would be if he was alive. I guess it's gonna be pretty quiet next door."

Wrong.

Ask Dr. Mike - Tofurky and Paisley Lederhosen

We haven't heard from our old friend Dr. Mike in quite a while. For new readers, Dr. Mike is an advice columnist whose main qualification for dispensing life-changing gems of wisdom is his Ph.D. in Melted Crayon Sculpture from the University of Tim Online ($29.95, two for $41.50).

Here is what we found in this week's mail bag:

Dear Dr. Mike,

My wife's cooking is a lot more enthusiastic than it is edible. In fact, after word of her "Liver-Tofurky Casserole Surprise" reached the Pentagon, she was hired as a consultant for the Army's Chemical Warfare Division.

Now she has invited my entire side of the family over to our house for a home-cooked dinner. My question is, could I be held responsible? I mean, isn't luring someone, especially a relative, into a known hazardous situation prosecutable in this state?

Signed,

Maybe I Should Cop A Plea

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